The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
3pm strippers are depressing
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
