Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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