This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
