Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
