I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
