once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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