i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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