her vagine was all disorganized.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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