At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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