I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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