not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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