this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
