yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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