hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
