I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am naked and annoyed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
