i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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