try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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