Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
