I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
