be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
