sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
