Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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