So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
