Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
