do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
