The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i now understand why vodka
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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