dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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