Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
