It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
