I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
