I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
