Kiss
Puke
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
