Soap is not a condiment
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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