Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
