your room smells of hookers.
And success
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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