Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
