Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
