Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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