dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
