Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
