my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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