found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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