what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
