glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
