it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
