butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
