The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
