everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
