I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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