I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
