I've blown a few things in my day
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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