Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
