I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He passed out mid-signature
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
