i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
