Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
