I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just gargled with NyQuil
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
