So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We are all done wearing pants today
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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