turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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