everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
