i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
