I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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