Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am one with the molecules
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
