The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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