Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
