office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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