some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
